PEBBLE
Personally, I refuse to carry the burden of having to hide my emotions.
~Victor Wembanyama, shared by Patrick in Newport, KY
BOULDER
The goal for most people should not be to feel better, but to get better at feeling.
~Shannon Alder, shared by Lisa in Cincinnati, OH
PONDER
I confess I didn’t immediately recognize the name behind today’s Pebble, but Patrick included some helpful context when he shared it earlier this summer: “Victor Wembanyama, a rising star in the NBA, was responding to critics who accused him of being too soft and emotional after he cried on court…I think it shows a lot of courage, wisdom, and maturity for any athlete, especially one so young (he’s 22), to stand up for himself like that. I’m not much of a sports fan, but I found this inspiring.”
In a lovely splash of synchronicity, just a few days after Patrick’s submission, my friend and neighbor (and longtime Rippler) Lisa texted a snapshot from her “Thought for the Day” calendar featuring the Alder quote we feature in today’s Boulder. I love it when a pair of quotes match themselves up like that!
It totally makes sense that most of us want to spend as much time as possible simmering in emotions like joy, gratitude, serenity, hope and love. Here’s the deal, though: less pleasant emotions like sadness, grief, anger, fear, regret and alienation are also an inevitable and important part of being human. We will indeed experience them, and learning how to work with them can make a difference in our daily lives and relationships.
A lot of people think of counseling as a place to process their feelings, and that can be an important part of it. It can also be an opportunity to build our capacity for understanding and working with our emotions. We might seek out a mental health professional to help us through a particular big, hard thing. A significant bonus of finding the right counselor at the right time is that the process can also help us navigate future big, hard things.
This week, let’s give ourselves a little extra room to feel whatever shows up, and a little less grief for feeling it. Getting better at feeling can begin with allowing ourselves to be human.
Peace,
Paul
P.S. Thinking of seeing a counselor? Go for it! It can take quite a bit of time and effort to find the right counselor and dive into the work, but ohhhhhh I’ve found it so, so (so) worthwhile. #YouGotThis