PEBBLE
How you are seen changes how you see yourself.
~Annie Leibovitz, in conversation with Julia Louis Dreyfus on Wiser Than Me
BOULDER
You were made uniquely, wonderfully, distinctly. There’s a sound only you can make. A voice that has never existed before you and will never exist again. A contribution only you can bring. A way of seeing that belongs to only you. The world does not need another cover song. It needs an original.
~Eric Church, in his commencement address to UNC Chapel Hill grads, shared by Sally in Lincoln, NE
PONDER
October 11th is coming around again, and it’s always a special day for me and my gay peeps. National Coming Out Day began as an invitation for people who identify as LGBTQ+ to take their next steps out of the closet. The idea is to help us become more comfortable in our own skin while also helping others recognize just how many of us are already part of their families, workplaces, neighborhoods, and communities.
Here’s the deal, though: coming out isn’t just an announcement to other people. As Leibovitz hints at in today’s Pebble, allowing others to see us more clearly can help us see ourselves more clearly.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that everyone has a closet to come out of in the same way we queer folks do. Still, almost all of us have pieces of ourselves that we mute, disguise, minimize, or keep backstage because we’re uncertain how they’ll be received. It could be a quality like tenderness or goofiness that you’ve sensed was “too much” or “not enough” for people around you. Or maybe it’s a quirky hobby, an unusual opinion, or a way of looking at the world that just seems weird to lots of folks.
The upside of letting more of your authentic self become visible isn’t just becoming more comfortable in your own skin, although that’s important and worthwhile, too. Eric Church’s encouragement to college graduates is good medicine for all of us: the more freely we recognize, cherish, and share what is distinctly ours, the more our particular contributions can help shape a richer, more interesting world for all of us.
So now I’m curious: What part of the real you wants to be seen or heard a little more clearly? And what would help you take your next step to share it with someone this week?
Peace,
Paul
P.S. If the word “queer” made you squirm a little, I get it. It’s certainly been used harshly against me and others over the years. Some of us have reclaimed it as a positive umbrella term; others still don’t care for it. Words are funny little creatures, aren’t they? A little queer, even.