PEBBLE
We’ve all got an inner beast. We’ve all got a messy, loud, weird part of ourselves hidden away. And a lot of us never let it out.
~Meilin (in Pixar’s Turning Red), shared by Jamie in Cincinnati, OH
BOULDER
To love oneself is hard work because you’re actually required to love multiple versions of
yourself that show up without warning every day.
-Hanif Abdurraqib, shared by Leslie in Madison, WI
PONDER
Several years ago, way back in Ripples #987: Loving All the Parts we hinted at the idea that within each of us is a complex collection of inner parts. When I was originally drafting the ponder for that issue, I had planned to mention Internal Family Systems, a really (really) helpful counseling model that was foundational in my therapy/healing.
I’m not sure if I edited that part out to keep the issue shorter and lighter, or if I was feeling a little shy about sharing something that some folks might think is a little too out there. All I know is that IFS has become incredibly popular in the last few years, and a more recent book, No Bad Parts, by the creator of IFS, Richard Schwarz, has helped lots of folks make sense of (and make friends with) their multifaceted mind.
One of the ideas I appreciate most about IFS is its suggestion that even our most troublesome parts are usually trying to help in some way. The inner critic may be trying to protect us from failure. The worrier may be trying to keep us safe. The procrastinator may be trying to shield us from overwhelm. Instead of meeting these parts with judgment, IFS invites us to approach them with curiosity, compassion, and a willingness to listen. The goal isn’t to get rid of parts of ourselves, but to understand them well enough that they no longer need to work quite so hard.
So what parts of you have been showing up lately? The achiever? The caretaker? The worrier? The inner beast? Rather than arguing with them or pretending they aren’t there, what might happen if you greeted them with a little curiosity and kindness? You don’t have to agree with every part of yourself. But perhaps this week you could practice listening a bit more closely.
Peace,
Paul