PEBBLE
Today, I accept myself for who I am.
Tomorrow, I’ll accept myself for who I will be!
~Bart Greenberger, written and shared by Bart in Ringgold, GA
BOULDER
It’s like, at the end, there’s this surprise quiz:
Am I proud of me?
I gave my life to become the person I am right now.
Was it worth what I paid?
~Richard Bach, shared by Nancy in San Luis Obispo, CA
PONDER
This week’s quotes have me thinking about the mental and spiritual costs of the harsh self-judgments I sometimes use as fuel for self-improvement. On the one hand, being able to honestly and accurately assess my strengths and “areas for growth” is both useful and wise. These assessments get less useful and more problematic when I weaponize them, allowing my inner critic (and my inner Chandler) to rev up his sharpest barbs: “Could you BE any more ________ (lazy, stupid, greedy, gullible, etc.)?” He operates under the assumption that I need to delay any sense of self-acceptance until I’m absolutely perfect.
I can think of a few big ole problems with that.
First of all, perfection isn’t really attainable in any realistic sense. (Duh.)
Second, delaying self-acceptance in my quest for self-improvement prevents me from celebrating all the growth I’ve already achieved.
And maybe the biggest problem of all? It pretty much forbids me from appreciating the groovy dude I’ve been all along—even the plain ole me who shows up on days when I’m not busy self-improving.
It helps when I remember that harsh self-judgment actually slows the kind of personal and professional growth that ultimately excites me—and that celebrating the me I am right now makes it easier and more fun to think about what tweaks I’d like to play around with as I grow from today-me into tomorrow-me.
Maybe the goal isn’t to earn our acceptance someday—but to start from a place of gratitude and deep appreciation for who we are right now, and grow forward from there.
Acceptance today, a little growth tomorrow… and maybe, over time, a life I’ll look back on and say, “Yeah… that was worth it.”
What about you?
Peace,
Paul