PEBBLE
Pay attention to your insecurities. They are not there to taunt you, but to show you where to heal.
~Dr. Gabor Maté, shared by Jill in Mt. Pleasant, WI
BOULDER
You should dance with the skeletons
in your closet.
Learn their names,
so you can ask them to leave.
Have coffee with your demons.
Ask them important questions like,
“What keeps you here?”
Learn what doors they keep finding
open, and kick them out.
~Pierre Alex Jeanty, shared by Linda in Michigan
PONDER
I’ve spent much of my life operating as though the things that make me feel better about myself are generally good while things that make me feel worse about myself are generally bad. After several decades of adulting (learning, growing, healing, etc.), it seems useful to be a little less judgy and a little more curious about the stuff that lurks in the shadowy parts of my mind.
For example, I’ve spent most of my professional life trying to extinguish a rather persistent case of imposter syndrome, that stubborn belief that I’m not quite smart, industrious, talented, or good enough to deserve the achievements and opportunities that have come my way. Decades of success as an entrepreneur didn’t quell the insecurity, and neither did decades of therapy. Affirmations, meditations, cognitive reframing, positive feedback….my skilled and clever inner critic can rationalize all of it away with a single sneer and eye roll.
Quite recently, I found myself thinking about it differently. After all, if I made it this far along, 57 years old and a decent level of accomplishment with work stuff and life stuff, maybe I’m always going to have at least a low-level hum of insecurity in the background noise of my mind. When I follow the excellent advice in today’s Boulder and ask what is keeping this imposter syndrome around, the answer comes quickly, “to keep me from becoming too big for my britches.”
Here’s the deal for me and my insecurities: I don’t think I need to bother with trying to “kick them out,” especially since they have the potential to help me heal and grow a bit. Instead, I can listen to them, acknowledge them, and decide for myself which of their messages to heed to and which to shrug off.
What about you?
Peace,
Paul
