PEBBLE
Receiving well is an act of courage. It’s an act of trust. It’s standing tall and saying, “I will allow myself to be celebrated without shrinking, apologizing, or making myself smaller.”
~Coach Colene
shared from one of Colene’s fabulous Monday Morning Pep Talks
BOULDER
Gracious acceptance is an art—an art which most never bother to cultivate. We think that we have to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting things, which can be much harder than giving… Accepting another person’s gift is allowing them to express their feelings for you.
~Alexander McCall Smith, shared by Kelly in Austin, TX
PONDER
One of the first things I learned in my scouting days was the slogan “Do a good turn daily.” Our scoutmaster talked about this frequently, and he added an extra twist on the idea of service to others: he believed it didn’t count if you received any sort of credit for the “good turn.” I’ve long appreciated this perspective, as it cultivated humility while reducing the chance of turning charitable acts into self-serving ego boosts.
It’s been fun to pull off some fun acts of service without revealing my involvement (I’m sitting here smiling as I think of a few examples I could share with you, but I don’t want to spoil the secrets!).
While I think my scoutmaster’s addendum fueled my instincts to give generously, I’m lately realizing it may have blunted my ability to receive gracefully.
A few examples:
I love swooping in to pick up the tab for dinner when I’m with someone whose been a good friend or helpful to me in my work and/or life. When the situation is reversed and someone wants to treat me, I get really uncomfortable and try to talk them out of it.
There’s been several times I’ve been out shopping and spotted an item that makes me think of someone I care about…so I buy it and send it to them without expectation of anything other than a text letting me know they received and enjoy it. It’s a different experience when a package unexpectedly shows up on our doorstep. My initial glee is soon replaced with fretting about what similarly-valued gift I should include when I send a thank you note. (score keeping you have a call on line two).
It’s the same thing with time: I’m happy to spend extra time driving someone to a doctor’s appointment or to run an errand for them. The idea of asking someone to do something like that for me immediately gets me skittish, and even accepting someone’s offer feels like a bother.
What if receiving well is just another way of giving—offering others the joy of helping, the satisfaction of generosity, the chance to feel useful? This week, notice your instinct when someone tries to give you something—a compliment, a treat, a moment of kindness. Instead of dodging it, try to breathe it in. Say thanks. Receive it fully. No shrinking. No scorekeeping.
Peace,
Paul