PEBBLE
When I show up for my life as a sacred story then the sacred story shows up for me.
~Carrie Newcomber, shared by St. Joan of Albany
BOULDER
We tell ourselves stories in order to live. And its worth pausing to ask: Are the stories you are telling yourself nourishing you? Are they brave? Are they generous? Do they allow for change, for growth, for the breaking and remaking of the self? If not, let them go and rewrite with care. You are the author, after all.
~Joan Didion, shared by Sara in Madison, WI
PONDER
Several years ago I noticed myself using a few variations of a phrase my friend Pidge frequently inserts into our conversations: “I have a story in my head that…” or “the story I make up when I hear that is…” My take on this phrase is that it’s a relatively simple, subtle, straight-forward way to remind myself and whoever I’m talking to that each of us constantly views life through our own personal lens, which is shaped (and limited) by our experiences, background, perspective, mood, mindset, etc.
A few times lately I’ve mentioned how much I got out of mindfully reading Active Hope: How to Face the Mess We’re in with Unexpected Resilience & Creative Power. I’ve continued pondering the three story frames offered in the book that we can use to shape our understanding of what’s going on in the world right now. “The Great Unraveling” is the narrative that everything is falling apart, possibly signalling the end of the world (or at least the end of life as we’ve known it up to now). “Business as usual” is a story that all the bad stuff that’s happening is a temporary blip and that things will eventually settle down and get “back to normal.” The third option is a story they call “The Great Turning.” This is the idea that we are in the midst of a massive cultural transformation, a transition as mysterious and magnificent as a caterpillar turning into a butterfly or a forest recreating itself anew after a fire. These have been most helpful when I avoid trying to label them as “good or bad” or even “better or worse” and instead get curious about how they influence my thoughts, feelings and actions when I try each of them on.
Big and hard stuff is happening all around us all the time, and sometimes the stuff can really knock us off center–especially when we weren’t expecting it and/or didn’t have much say in how it unfolded. Whether it’s losing a job, someone breaking up with us, or getting a dire health diagnosis, today’s Boulder invites us to more mindfully construct the stories we tell about what is happening and how it impacts us.
Is it possible to shift from a victim mindset of “this is happening to me” to something more nuanced like “this is a thing that is happening that also has an impact on me”? If some unfolding event is causing the end of an era for you, could you frame it as an opportunity to enter into to (and perhaps co-create) a new beginning? Even a small shift from viewing something as “bad” to a more neutral word like “hard” can hint that good stuff can sometimes grow out of hard stuff. The goal isn’t to ignore the bad aspects of the thing, it just gives us an opportunity to contextualize the yuck by recognizing some of the potential yum.
Right now I’m telling myself a story that I’ve opened up a really big topic that may be too complex to encapsulate in a simple email newsletter that’s intended to be a quick read on a busy Monday…so I’m going to pause and do a re-write! A more sacred story is that I’m dropping a little stone into your pond today, and I’ll let YOU decide what ripples it could make. Are you in?
Peace,
Paul
P.S. I feel like I’ve been referencing my friend Pidge a lot lately, but I can’t help it! We’ve known each other since fifth grade, and over the years she’s become one of my dearest friends and thought partners. We’re both deeply committed to life-long learning, and she frequently shares ideas she’s picked up from workshops and classes and readings and retreats and such. And if that isn’t enough, she’s also a Jeopardy champ (literally!), so she’s super smart with a high level of recall memory, too.