PEBBLE
There will always be a before and an after, and you have to learn to live in the after.
~Rachel Hawkins, shared by Kathy in Appleton, WI (who stumbled upon this passage in the novel “Reckless Girls” and liked that one of the characters had the phrase “In the After” tattooed on her inner wrist to remind herself where to focus her time/energy/life)
BOULDER
It is not wrong to have moments of joy and laughter in the midst of pain and grief – rather it means that we are able to hold multiple contradicting truths all at once, and that is a beautiful thing.
~Emma Zeck (posted by Magnolia Counseling Associates in The Ripples Convergence)
PONDER
Last week’s Ripples generated quite a few responses from folks who are grappling with big losses, so this week I’m sharing these grief-related quotes for them and for anyone else who is grieving. We’ve touched on this topic a few times before in these weekly splashes:
The Boulder we shared in Ripples #1210 was actually a comment someone posted to a blog post on grief titled Why We Need Both Gratitude and Grief. The article itself poses a powerful question:
“How do we hold the dissonance between gratitude for the blessings in life, and grief over the suffering and pain in our world? The question is a koan for our times. Both are true, and living in the tension and discomfort of this question invites the heart to open more fully.”
Back in 2020 when my mom passed away, Ripples #1093 framed grief as a souvenir of love, and I shared some thoughts on Unimaginable (But Not Unbearable) Grief, and also a compilation of resources that I share When Grief Happens.
More recently, I was significantly moved by a Rippler’s email that landed in my inbox just a few days ago:
“Last week’s Ripples resonated with me because I recently lost my husband of 33 years. My whole life turned around in a split second, but I refuse to not notice the beauty around me. I cry, I scream, I’m devastated and shocked–but there is always something to notice and be in awe of. I’ve made a conscious effort to recognize the sunrise, sunsets, starry nights, joy with grandchildren and living the absolute dream of loving what I do for work. ” ~Nancy in Boston, MA
I’m sorry if you currently happen to be in the earlier stages of grief. I’m sorry for your loss, and I’m sorry for the waves of pain and sadness and frustration and despair that may repeatedly wash over you in the coming weeks and months. I hope small signs of beauty, kindness, and/or joy appear at your doorstep occasionally, and when it happens I hope you’ll recognize and invite them in, even if only for a brief visit. And even though things may never quite be the same as they were Before, please know that there are lots of folks out there figuring out how to live in the After. I bet you can, too (even if that feels hard to imagine right now).
Peace,
Paul