PEBBLE
There is no normal life that is free of pain. It’s the very wrestling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth.
~Fred Rogers, shared by Pete in Colorado
BOULDER
It costs so much to be fully human… One has to abandon altogether the search for security, and reach out to the risk of living with both arms… One has to accept pain as a condition of existence… One has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing. One needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying.
~Morris West, shared by Joan in Albany via Friends of Silence
In every challenge or even tragedy, there is an opportunity. And if you train yourself to look for the opportunity, you will be able to take control of the situation and even turn it into a positive or if it can’t be turned into something good, at least something good could come out of it.
-Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, shared by Sara in Madison, WI via James Clear 3-2-1
PONDER
I have several friends going thru big, hard stuff right now. Really big, really hard.
Their significant pain and struggle impacts me, too, though obviously not at the same level.
It’s difficult for an empath like me to know that friends of mine are struggling mightily, and It’s even harder for a lifelong “here let me help you with that” always-trying-to-help-fix-it kinda guy to face the reality that there really isn’t anything I can do to eliminate or even reduce the intensity of the struggles they are facing.
Our lives unfortunately include considerable amounts of hardships. Some more than others of course, but no one escapes pain and loss and grief. No one. And one price we pay for loving other human beings is bearing witness to their pain.
I’ve found it helpful to return to an exchange Stephen Colbert had with Anderson Cooper during a CNN interview shortly after the death of Cooper’s mother, Gloria Vanderbilt, about learning to love the things we wish had never happened. Colbert, who experienced significant loss at an early age, explains that he eventually came to the conclusion that to be truly grateful for life includes finding a way to be grateful for the hard stuff, even if we wished it hadn’t happened. And as someone who has faced a few big bumps in my full (and overall quite fabulous) life, I’m convinced there is a kind of stregnth that can only grow out of big difficulty, and there is a kind of love that can only be seasoned by big loss.
If you or someone you care about is struggling with big stuff right now, I hope there’s enough comfort to ease the pain, and enough courage and stamina to keep going (and when possible, to keep growing). And as always, I wish you….
Peace,
Paul
