Ripples #1268: Graduating from Hate

PEBBLE

Hate cannot finish what it began.
-tagged on a train trestle in NJ, shared by Patty in New Jersey

BOULDER

I have striven not to laugh at human actions, not to weep at them, not to hate them, but to understand them.
-Baruch Spinoza, shared by Emily in Carlow, Ireland

PONDER

I asked Patty to share a little more about today’s Pebble, and she responded quickly: “I was driving down the highway the other day, thinking about the political climate and how there is so much anger coming coming from both sides. It occurred to me how easily we can fall into the chasm of emulating the very thing that we find disconcerting in others. Just then, I drove under a train trestle where someone had spray painted in large letters, ‘Hate cannot finish what it began.’ It was a gut check for me: I realized how I’ve been falling down that slippery slope of letting anger and fear rule my thoughts, and I’ve learned that nothing good usually comes from that.”

Today is the 22nd anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, which means that most of the college students I hang out with this time of year are as distant from that crisp Tuesday in 2001 as I am to the civil unrest of the late 1960s. In many ways I think we’re still experiencing the effects of both of those turbulent times even while we continue to make our way through the tail end of a global pandemic and the ever-worsening polarization. I still haven’t figured out how we shift gears to break through the divisiveness and start bringing people together again, but something happened on my walk this morning that reminded me I’m both part of the problem and potentially part of the solution.

It was still dark as I was passing through one of our neighborhood parks that has become increasingly infected with graffiti, and I got myself quite worked up with some judgy and even sinister thoughts that were zipping through my brain…things I might say or do if I ever encountered people in the middle of defacing what I think of as a sacred community space. I could smell the righteous indignation oozing out of my pores, and recognized what was happening: I was filling myself up with hate. I took a few deep breaths and found some more “thumpity thump” upbeat music to help me escape into a more upbeat state of mind so that I could finish my morning stroll and jump into my busy work day.

It wasn’t until I sat down to write this ponder that I recognized the irony: staring back at me on my computer screen was the theme I had already chosen for this issue, and the very wisdom I had previously selected to feature as today’s Pebble had originated in the same form of expression that I had just been hating on: graffiti.

This of course doesn’t mean I have to embrace what I still tend to view as a form of vandalism. But it reminds me that hateful thoughts and feelings, while both normal and natural parts of the human experience, aren’t going to be all that helpful when it comes to identifying useful steps forward. Instead, we need to summon the courage and the strength to continue graduating from hate, repeatedly and maybe even continuously, as we seek more productive ways of connecting, learning, and growing.

Easy? Nope.
Worth it? I’m sure of it.

Peace,
Paul

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