Ripples #1187: Small Sadnesses


Our constant quest to micro-manage our own comfort and happiness can itself become a source of great unhappiness.
-Jeff Warren, suggested by DC in CA


Sadness is intrinsically part of the fabric of happiness. You can’t have one without the other. Of course, they come in different degrees and quantities. But there is no life where you can be in a state of sheer happiness forever. And imagining there is just breeds more unhappiness in the life you’re in.
Matt Haig, shared by Julianne in Philadelphia, PA


Do you ever have a small sadness?

Something kinda nonspecific you hesitate to mention to others around you because they might ask you too many questions or or try to help you feel better when really you’re just a little sad and that’s okay?

Yeah, me too.

A couple days ago I made a little PepTok about mine and that made me feel a little more okay about my small sadness. Now that I think about it, making the video actually made me feel a little better, too.

The next morning at breakfast I heard myself say something to Jamie like: “I think one of the keys to happiness in the second half of life is remembering that poopy moments and blah-blah days are inevitable parts of the Package of Life.” Expecting every day to be sunshine and smiles isn’t realistic, and it isn’t helpful. Accepting the small sadnesses and other “less fun” parts of life makes them much easier to handle, and as a bonus: realistic expectations of the ups and downs of life can help you savor the sunshine days even more.

P.S. Last year, when many of us were struggling, I shared articles on languishing and dormancy that resonated with me and others. Shortly after I finalized this week’s issue, a dear friend of mine texted an article that suggests it may be time for behavioral activation. I found it ponderous, so I’m tacking it on here for your consideration.

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